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photo credit: thowi

During the summer grilling seems to happen so spontaneously. Sometimes it’s just too damn hot to cook inside, other times you find something on sale in the 30% off bin that you know you should cook right away.

But a lot of rubs and sauces that are really tasty are a pain to make on the fly. They have picky ingredients or need 24 hours to let the flavors age. Fuck all that, I want my dollar ninety-nine pork chops now. Which is why I have this simple little rub recipe handy:

• 3 TBS Hungarian paprika
• 1 TBS Kosher salt
• 1 TBS black pepper
• 1 TSP sugar
• 1 TSP chili powder
• 1/2 TSP ground cayenne
• 1/2 TSP garlic powder
• 1/2 TSP onion powder

Those are ingredients I always have ready, it is zero fuss and it works on any meat out there. Chicken to ribs to pork chops(the amounts here are for 4 pork chops, scale accordingly).

Because grilling should be spontaneous.

Bah. Back in civilization after an extended time in the wild. Including all the typical pleasures of the open world like no Internet access, limited shelter and illnesses not seen in modern times.

But while out there I was able to try that “Beer-can-up-the-butt” chicken recipe I linked to last week from Serious Eats. Besides the inherent joy of violating a chicken this recipe has the added bonus of being really, really good. I’m definitely going to use it again in the future, but I’d like to list a few observations below:

• My bird cooked way faster than the time in the recipe. It wasn’t a problem for me since I use a leave in thermometer but if you were cooking it based purely off time I don’t think it would turn out right.
• This bird was beyond moist. It was porn star wet. I cut into it and juices overran the cutting board. I let it rest for at least 10 minutes so I don’t think that was the problem, I wonder if in the future I should skip the brining step? It didn’t hurt the taste just a bit messy.
• At then end of cooking you have a delicious chicken, sitting on a grill and filled with a fucking molten core of hot beer! Plan for pulling that beer can out ahead of time, it’s hard to eat when your hands have blistered beyond recognition.
• While this was good chicken, at the end I was reminded that it was just chicken. It seems there’s not a whole lot you can do to dress up chicken. There’s a plainness to it you can’t seem to cover up even with a good rub(that is a good poultry rub).
• Relatedly, don’t expect any kudos from friends and family who don’t eat the skin. That’s where all the flavor is on this bird. Don’t be angry though, their punishment is going through life avoiding taste in the vain hopes that they’ll be healthier, when really if the worst thing you ate in a day was the skin of a roasted chicken you’re eating pretty healthy.
• You could do this chicken in the oven. I think the reason it’s a grill recipes because a lot of juices, fat and beer drip out but if you put a drop pan in your oven it should be OK.

So that’s the report. Overall a great chicken, still just a chicken. But I’m always looking for new ways to cook a whole bird since that’s the cheapest, freshest meat you can find and this is a good one.

photo credit: FLOODkOFF

I’ve taken a slight detour from California, the sunshine state, to Michigan, the mediocre state. A land so savage and backwards they actually experience seasons. And here the beginning of summer is signaled by Memorial Day, about two weeks before the summer solstice signals the middle of summer. Poor suckers.

So in this weeks edition of the trough we’ve got a whole section of summer drinks, grilling debates and unique ways to violate a chicken carcass all in celebration of summer.

• First, Lifehacker brings us a great resource page on becoming a Memorial Day Grill Master. If you can’t grill after all this you might as well become a freegan.
• Serious Eats brings some expert metal to the age old debate, Chunk vs. Briquette Charcoal.
• Summer is the time for an obscene amount of two things, overcrowded, tacky weddings and ice cream. The Leftover Queen brought us both, but I’m more interested in her Papaya-Mango Ice Cream.
• I’ve often wondered how I could further humiliate an animal after it was killed but before I actually ate it. Serious Eats finally gives me what I want. I think the chicken likes it myself.
• “The goal of Beer Suggest is to provide the most informative beer site on the net.” What more need be said about summer’s official adult beverage.
• If you’re looking for a less adult beverage, Tip Nut has a great Home Made Lemonade recipe. Although instead of using lemon rind I suggest using lemon zest, but then again I’m not a fucking heathen.