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As an addendum(look it up you savage) to my diatribe against ramen/ideas to make it food I forgot there is a situation I use ramen for exclusively. I always keep 2 packages of ramen in a large Tupperware bowl with a spoon in the trunk of my car. That way I always have something to eat. I’ve yet to find the place I couldn’t get hot water. And you can actually make ramen even with hot water from the sink, but be prepared to give it a half hour or so to soften up.

But I always use good ramen, bought from a properly stinky asian store and preferably with an extra packet of grease in addition to the dried spices.

photo credit: joelogon

So what do you use ramen for? Leave a comment and let me know.

Once again I’ve scoured the interwebs and I’m bringing back the best, freshest food news you can find. Wrap in dry paper and don’t leave out for more than a few hours.

• I’ve made my distaste for Papa Johns and their cheese topped placenta abundantly clear, but it’s obvious people aren’t listening to me. Not listening to the tune of over a billion dollars. Fuckers.
• It’s always gross when you pull a chicken out of the package and it looks like you pulled it out of a lake, but how many of us have figured out what to do about it? Domestigeek has.
• Summer time = grill time. Here are some of the manliest grills and recipes around. This one gets bonus points for using the term CAR-B-Q.
• If you’re a filthy savage like me, you pots and pans don’t get the care they deserve. Tipnut has some…well…tips that will help get them back in shape.
• Now, if you say “Asparagus Wrapped in Pancetta with Citronette” you’re asking for a punch in the junk. But if you say “Asparagus wrapped in Italian super ham, grilled crispy and dipped in uber mustard” you’ll be looked upon as a hero for years to come. Serious Eats needs to work on their titling.
• One thing I can’t stand about foodies is their obsession with paying more. I’ve had great ingredients that cost a dollar a pound and some that cost a dollar an ounce, but cheaper always tastes better. Over at Cheap Healthy Good they share my wallet’s delicate sensibilities, and they have a post up on how to save hundreds of dollars on your food bill in 60 minutes a week.
• After this guy is done lecturing us on how we should be like Europeans and buy food daily instead of trusting the untested technology of refrigeration, he actually has some useful information on how to store chocolate. By the way I’ll adopt their shopping habits when they adopt our deodorant habits.
• And finally PopSci has a neat little article on the Science of Scotch. How you can apply scientific theory to something that touches my soul I’ve yet to understand.

Last week I wrote an article on the Top 5 Snacks For That Afternoon Groggy Feeling over at Dumb Little Man. As a bonus I mentioned an apple splashed with a fresh squeezed lime. Via The Food Section I came across this Chili-Salt that looks awesome. It’s the same idea, make fruit not suck.

I got some champagne mangoes yesterday(a fruit that doesn’t suck all by itself) and I can’t wait to try this out on them.

Plus that chick is hot:

Here’s a little video I made on the when, why and how of reusing oil.

photo credit: jetalone
Got an email from Paul the other day, asking about possible toppings and ramen noodle recipes he could use . I was very excited because this was another person I could add to my ‘To Kill’ list for his part in the breakdown of the modern world. People who know so little about cooking and are so terrified of learning they will just boil water and add powdered packets of artificial shrimp rather than take the time to make an actual meal are…not my favorite.

But then I realized it’s not an entirely bad source of food, just overused and under appreciated. And he’s making an effort, not just stuffing his gullet with anything you can buy for less than a quarter. And for a lot of people it could be a good starting point for learning to cook, after all historically a lot of food started with a boiling pot and whatever was within arms reach. So I’m going to offer a little compromise, I’ll give a few ramen noodle recipes, tips actually, and tomorrow I’ll explain how to make a perfect plate of pasta that’s just as cheap and (in my opinion) way better than ramen.

And Paul, I’m going to move you from the ‘To Kill’ list to the ‘Might Kill’ list. Congratulations.

So when trying to figure out how to liven up ramen we have to take a few things into account. What does ramen have going for it? It’s cheap(dollar for calorie) and easy(time for taste).We want to add flavors and nutrients without upsetting that balance(no safron please).

So everything I suggest here doesn’t need to be cooked outside of our boiling water and nothing is so expensive you’d be better off just having something else. Keep what’s great and make it better.

Bulk
One of the main things we will want to add are calories and protein, 2 things that can be a little light in straight ramen. We have to be careful though to make sure that what we add doesn’t conflict with the flavor that comes with the soup(surprisingly, powdered fish entrails does not go with everything). My favorite two are

• Eggs Beating a couple of eggs and dropping it into a boiling pot of ramen is a great way to turn it from a snack into a meal. It’s a poor man’s egg drop soup. Just make sure you beat them before you add them to the water, or you’ll end up with big clumps of egg white.
• Cheese Melting some sharp cheddar into your ramen is awesome. I suggest slowly adding a half of cup of shredded cheese while cooking so it melts evenly. If you pour out most of the broth(or all of it) before doing this you get a psuedo Japanese Mac and Cheese.

photo credit: shibainu

Fresh
One thing missing from ramen is the fresh taste, so dropping a few ingredients you just picked up from the farmers market can really make it seem home made.

• Onions Some diced onions make ramen feel like an actual soup and not a precursor to the Jetson’s food pills. I suggest about 3 green onions, they are easier to cut, they don’t need to cook as long and they have a milder flavor.
• Mushrooms 5 or 6 fresh sliced mushrooms will bring their own unique flavor, their own unique texture and their own unique mushroomness. And they’re like little flavor sponges so when you bite one you actually get a burst of the soups underlying spice.
• Herbs If you have any fresh herbs laying around from last nights dinner just throw them in the pot. They can really change things up, and damn near any herbs will do. I really like cilantro or basil in there myself, about a tablespoon chopped.

Vegetables
While ramen is cheap in terms of calories, it’s actually expensive in terms of nutrients. Throwing some veggies in there can offset ramen’s main failing while keeping it just as easy.

• Tomatoes Dropping about half an 8 ounce can of diced tomatoes into your ramen adds a great contrast and a real nice acidity. And this goes with any flavor(even powdered fish entrails).
• Spinach For about a buck you can get a box of spinach from the frozen food section and add some earthiness to your ramen. I’d cut it(still frozen) into 8 pieces and drop one into my pot just as it reaches a boil. It makes it more like collared greens, but without the suck.

Tommorow I’ll get into ramen alternatives but if you’re going to eat it(and I know you philistines are) at least use some of these ramen noodle recipes to make it a true meal and not just a slow poison shipped from Japan that they’re using to make us weak in preparation for Perl Harbor 2.

photo credit: auer1816